O.K., so obviously I am just learning about 'blogging' and still haven't figured out how to work with the HTML. I had all my logs for each day caught up to date and when I hit 'publish' everything was gone and my whole system crashed. So now I guess it is back to the beginning. But, before I go backwards, I would rather focuse on the past couple of days and maybe later 'catch up.' To make things a little clearer, I have about 6 men, on and off, that I feed or meet with daily since starting a week ago. For the most part, I only go to one site now. The other 2, I can never seem to meet up with anyone, but I think under the overpass is a more suitable area.

Sunday of this past week was hard. "R" (I promised the guys I would never identify them until they were ready) and a couple others were having a 'paranoid' afternoon. I took the hot meal I had prepared down to them and typically I am warmly greeted. That day, they seemed on-guard. "R" told me in one breath I was an angel sent from God to help them, but I must be a vice-cop undercover. I tried every way possible to let them know I wasn't, but nothing seemed to convince them. Then they were concerned about the 'cameras I had placed up under the overpass' and I knew at that moment I had to go along with their hallucinations. So, as they pointed out all the cameras, I went around and broke them all down. This seemed to comfort them. Later, before I left, "R" said he had started to be 'shunned' for his association with me. The others come for the food and supplies, but to them, "R" has seemed to make a connection as a friend with me and for that moment, I was just as much an outsider in this group as I am in Williamsburg's society. Brian Wilson said it the best "I guess I just wasn't made for these times."

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, when I took the food down (and blankets since they were calling for snow), nobody would come out, although I could see them lingering in the shadows. They were obviously waiting for me to leave so they could eat, but were too scared to be around me that day. The same for today. Yesterday I wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it down. I felt horrible and guilty, but it made me realize that one day I will need some help to be there when I can't. But, until they feel safe with me, I won't feel safe with anyone else going. I approached the donut shop about an account so if I can't make it, at least they can go in there and get something to eat and drink and charge it against money I put down. She is going to talk with her husband and let me know.